Because, Feelings

Vacuuming up the tiny pink and blue pieces from the Game of Life, sprinkled like chaos on the floor, I feel like God or some higher vengeful being. I listen as they rattle up the pipe, through the tube, before being spat into the belly of the machine; the clear perspex, there to demonstrate the ‘cyclonic force’ of the suction, shows a quick coloured blur before the figures are enveloped in the dusty surrounds, to wait until I choose to rescue them (or not).

Sometimes, when my period is early, it comes as a relief. Bodily quirks and quibbles – the tiredness, the wretched fit of pants and bras – are magically explainable. The hormonal torment lingers, however, or seems to – it’s hard to pinpoint where that ends and the other – General Sadness – begins. At such times (this being one, which you’ve probably already figured out) I’m becoming increasingly uncertain as to how to write (no, blog) about it.

I don’t really want to float the idea of  ‘self-consciousness’ here, but perhaps that is part of it. Or a defensiveness that I’m seeing many bloggers have up as shields these days, as they battle for who wrote first about what subject, who broke what news, who is being nasty. Not that discourse isn’t important, and friendships are worth maintaining. Loyalties are important. But other relationships can feel like the Godfather’s kiss. Reserves of strength required to remain on course are larger than first envisaged.

And so, if you’ve been sucked up the vacuum, as I have been, let’s hold hands and enter the tumult together.

I'm not a player, I just blog a lot

photo credit: jmoneyyyyyy

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Karen Andrews is the creator of Karen Andrews. This is one of the most established and well-respected parenting blogs in the country and is a two-time finalist in the Best Australian Blogs competition. She is also an author, award-winning writer, poet, editor and publisher at Miscellaneous Press. Is an exercise junkie (when she finds the time).

Comments

  1. says

    I have managed to avoid all blogging turmoil so far, probably because I have been such an negligent and intermittent blogger. I admit, however, that as I start to return to regular blogging and social media interactions, the frequency that veiled accusations, passive-aggressive comments, and blatent put-downs are made on various blogs and social media networks is influencing my attitude to blogging. In fact, these factors are a major reason that I have stayed on the sidelines for so long and still hesitate to become actively involved in discussions with other bloggers online.

    I hope that you are okay. xxx
    Susan @ Reading Upside Down recently posted..Thinking about Friendships, Old and NewMy Profile

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