If Prime Ministers were chosen on Masterchef

ms1
George: Well Kevin and Julia, as you know we’re at the pointy end of the competition. Today is make or break time. As you know, whoever first answers an ingredient incorrectly will be eliminated. The winner will go on to be Australia’s Next Prime Minister. Already you’ve identified most of the ingredients of today’s dish which is: what makes a politician a long-lasting Prime Minister? We’ve already said positive poll results. We’ve talked about managing the media message, and how to appeal to ‘working families’. Now we’re getting down to the tricky part.

Julia-Gillard-and-Kevin

ms2

Julia, please step forward and taste and tell us again the next element.

gillard

Julia: Well, George, I think it’s the depiction of being a sports fan, thereby showing the public I am as down-to-earth as they are.

ms3

George: Julia, that is correct. Congratulations, you may step back in line.

Gary (thinking): I’m the cute one, aren’t I? I think I’m cute. My eyes sparkle when I smile. Ad- or- able.

George: Kevin, it’s your turn. Please come forward and tell us the next part in what you think makes a successful, long-lasting Prime Minister.

KevinRudd

Kevin: The support of all Labor parliamentary members, irrespective of their own personal motives, despite – and in consideration of – the bad and good times –  especially when the ‘bad times’ are not necessarily being reflected as such in opinion polls, but could potentially be used as the foundations for rebellion. I don’t think that would happen, but just in case it —

ms5

George: Kevin, we need an answer. What is your final answer?

KevinRudd

Kevin: Okay, the unconditional support of all Labor parliamentary members, so I can work in due season towards effectively implementing the policies this government –

ms2

George: You’re rambling.

KevinRudd

Kevin: Sorry, sorry. Loyalty. My short answer is loyalty.

ms7

George: I’m sorry Kevin, but that is incorrect. Congratulations Julia, you are Australia’s next Prime Minister.

KevinRudd

Kevin: Yes, yes, I wasn’t sure it was loyalty. I thought I could taste something else in there. What was it, I wonder? Couldn’t be…but yes, I think it was…

…I think it was… blood. I tasted blood.

matt preston

Matt Preston: Oh, don’t be so dramatic!

******

This post was triggered somewhat by a tweet I made on Thursday: “I bet KRudd was wishing for a #masterchef immunity pin…”

Thanks to Marian for being a sounding board for the idea :)

Picture credits: Masterchef, The Guardian, ninemsn, taste.com.au

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Karen Andrews is the creator of Karen Andrews. This is one of the most established and well-respected parenting blogs in the country and is a two-time finalist in the Best Australian Blogs competition. She is also an author, award-winning writer, poet, editor and publisher at Miscellaneous Press. Is an exercise junkie (when she finds the time).

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