It’s as if my body has forgotten how to menstruate

So my period is two weeks late.

Yep.

It’s not that, either. I know what you’re thinking.

At least, I don’t think so. My period has only ever been late twice in my life, so, um, the data is pointing in KNOCKED – UP’s direction but no no no.

I say this with relative confidence because in my other pregnancies, at two weeks past I was already nauseous and my boobs were terribly sore.

So what I’m feeling at the moment is strange. Last week, it was all about to happen. Carb cravings, that achy band of pain across my lower back and lower stomach; the kind that reminds me of early labour. I went out on my daily business with supplies tucked into my handbag ‘just in case’ – and nothing. The cramps continued – still are – but nothing else. The Premenstrual Bitch within also showed up at the same time, but now is back in hibernation.

{SHE IS?! asks my husband, incredulously.}

It is probably all stress related. I’m not running out to buy a pregnancy test – yet.

Still, it is annoying. I’m also reminded again of how much I take my body for granted. I realise just how lucky I am to have a routine cycle. I think of all those other women out there with endometriosis and other gynaecological issues who go through this every month. It must be maddening. I can’t even imagine.

My husband – supporting rock that he is – has offered this hypothesis: it’s because you’re getting older.

That’s his answer to anything that health related, really.

So, I’ll continue to wait. I’m just not sure for how long!